Spain's a Daddy!
by The Lazy Italian Firecracker
Summary: 'Spain is your father because you are secretly very ill.' Yes, another one. This time, Portugal is terribly ill and Spain steps up to protect her, falsely telling the rest of the office she works at that he is her father. With FrUK, and a possible relationship with England, what will happen? Find out by clicking!


Scenario: Spain is your dad because you are secretly very ill.

* * *

The sounds of me vomiting echoed throughout the office. I gagged on the disgusting stuff and spit it up into the toilet. It hurt so much, but I managed to get everything out. I just sat there after that, panting and leaning over the toilet. Seconds later, everyone ran right into the bathroom.

Spain was the first to speak up. "Señorita!" the passionate Spaniard cried, rushing over to my side. "Are you okay?!" He placed his hand on my back, and that forced more out of me. I threw up into the toilet yet again, letting a small sob escape my mouth.

England was second. "Get the disinfectant wipes!" he screamed. France hurriedly nodded in return and dashed out of the room. He then reentered with tons of boxes filled with Clorox wipes. He slathered everyone with the lemon-smelling stuff that covered the moist cloths. "Thanks, France," England said before leaning in to give France a peck on the lips. I vomited more intensely than I had before. Spain whipped his head around angrily.

"Try to save the love for somewhere else, please?!" he demanded. England and France looked offended at first, but suddenly broke into insanely creepy smiles.

"Why do you care so much about her?" France giggled. "Why not just let her vomit and be scarred for life at the same time?! HUH?!" France demanded. Nobody screwed with him and Iggy.

"Because..." Spain muttered. "Because... SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!" Collective gasps rang in the small bathroom. France and England just stared, mouths agape, at Spain and I. I hurriedly nodded and glanced up at Spain without moving my head. I could see him give me the smallest smile. I smiled back. "Yes, Portugal is actually my daughter. I know it sounds strange, but we are close together. I'm surprised no one has figured it out, huh?" I nodded weakly in response. In truth, I was figuring it out for the first time as well. It seemed that Spain was good at lying.

"Can I...get a doctor?" I quietly whispered. Spain looked down at me and nodded hurriedly.

"Oh, of course! Sorry about that..." He got up and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. "Yeah, hello. Can I bring my daughter to the office as soon as possible, could you do that?" Spain paused and waited for a few moments and nodded. "Okay, thanks. We'll be there in a sec." Spain then tucked his phone into his back pocket again and helped me up. We walked slowly out of the bathroom and to his car. After climbing in, we drove away to the doctor's.

* * *

I came back, feeling sick to my stomach. I had a horrible illness that the doctors were not sure I would recover from. I leaned on Spain's shoulder and let out a sob. He put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. "You'll be okay..." he whispered. I looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. "I'll be there by your side."

The illness wasn't contagious, so I was able to go to work. The office was cold and boring. "So, are you okay, Portugal?" England worriedly asked. "I brought you a card from America." I smiled and took the card; that boy was just too sweet! England wrapped me in a little half-hug.

"Yeah, just a little bug going around," I lied. I didn't want anyone to know. "Actually, how's America been doing?"

"Well, he says he's got this friend named 'Canada', but I think he's imaginary..." I listened intently. I was really genuinely interested in what England had to say. "Oh! How has everyone finding out that Spain's your...dad gone?"

I stifled a laugh, but let it out anyways. "Oh, people always thought we were a couple, but it's been going just fine besides for that little awkwardness." England nodded in understanding. "Thanks for being concerned," I added. A small blush crept up onto my cheeks. _No,_ I internally yelled, mentally slapping myself in the face. _He's dating France, stupid._ England smiled, his cheeks slowly turning the faintest shade of pink. I was fooling myself, seeing things, I was sure...

I sat down in the chair in front of my computer in my cubicle and pulled up an important document I was supposed to review. I looked over it, making grammatical corrections and changing sentences to sound more appealing. I played around with font sizes, and then finally finished working on it. I got the gist of it; France wanted to take a little bit of Italy's land. Italy would just let him have it, Germany would whip his butt, or Spain would whip his butt for the sake of Romano's safety.

Spain. His name brought many feelings. Feelings of dread, feelings of admiration, and most of all feelings of love. I put my head in my hands and had a good silent cry for a few minutes. Bringing my head up, I noticed a shadow on the wall beside my computer. I then felt a hand on my shoulder. "Señorita?" Oh, hi Spain.

"Hi, _dad_." For some reason, I was feeling sour towards everyone. I looked up at Spain, who was frowning down at me. I could tell by his eyes that he was asking me, "what's wrong?" I shrugged. "Sorry Spain, I'm just kinda upset about this whole problem; what with my illness and all, I'm not too happy." The sarcasm dripped from my statement as heavily as maple syrup out onto a pancake from its container. I rested my chin in my hand. "It's useless trying to talk to me."

"Well," Spain said, laughing, "looks like I've got a rebellious teenage daughter on my hands. Oh, joy." I couldn't help but crack a smile at Spain's indignant voice. I put my hand on his and squeezed it.

"Promise to stay by me the whole time," I whispered. Spain solemnly nodded. I sighed and hugged him. He comfortingly stroked my hair with his other hand and laughed as he let his hand stray down towards my chest. I slapped it away hurriedly, but couldn't hide my blush.

Spain smirked. "I _am_ the country of passion," he reasoned. I just shook my head and tried to refrain from laughing. However, I failed miserably. I let out a laugh so loud it turned into a snort. "That's my girl with the unattractive laugh over there," Spain called to the air, snickering. I poked his stomach, which caused him to giggle. We ended up being complete idiots.

France suddenly poked his head in the door. "Um... Are you gonna send me the revised document?"

I stared at France, and nodded. "Yeah." I hopped on the computer and sent it. France nodded, but didn't leave.

"Hey, Spain?" France asked. "Can I talk with Portugal alone for a moment?" Spain looked at me uneasily, but I nodded. Spain left the cubicle and France moved a little closer to me. He suddenly grabbed my jacket, causing me to shriek. He brought my head up so that I was looking him in the eye. "Whatever you feel about England," he venomously hissed, "forget about it. He's my boyfriend." My mouth was too dry for me to form words. "So back off." France shoved me away, but I managed to steady myself before I smashed into the wall. I nodded hurriedly and rushed back to my chair. France sent one last glare in my direction before stalking away. I could hear him talking with England.

"So, what did he want, Portugal?" Spain asked, entering the cubicle. "He didn't try to do anything to harm you, did –"

I shook my head. "No," I lied, cutting him off. "He just wanted advice on how to get Romano as new French territory." I saw Spain's knuckles whiten as he clenched them and I frowned. However, to make the lie convincing, I plastered a smile on my face and said, "I stalled for a bit, then kicked his crotch." Spain immediately gave me a thumbs-up. I did the same thing back.

But still, no matter how happy my new father could make me, I couldn't rid myself of the horrible feeling in my stomach and my heart.

* * *

"THANK GOD!" I fell into Spain's arms and began to cry. My major illness had been nothing but a nasty flu. The medicine I had been taking really helped to clear it up, and I was better in no time. Upon reaching home with Spain, I cried and cried tears of relief, and happiness, and joy. "I'm okay…" I sighed. I snuggled in closer to Spain.

"Hey…" he murmured. I looked up. "Even though this whole ordeal is over, can I still be your dad?" I smiled widely and nodded. He ruffled my hair, causing me to giggle. I stood up and hopped into my car. I gestured for Spain to follow suit, and he clambered into the passenger's seat. I drove to work.

News of my illness had spread quickly through the office. England, devastated, barely showed his face to anyone. France was always upset-looking around England, but anywhere else, had a satisfied smirk on his face. Everyone else was pretty upset. So when I ran into the office screaming and whooping, most everyone was elated. England suddenly ran up to me and gave me a huge hug. I stood, shocked, and then slowly wrapped my arms around him. "I broke up with France," England whispered in my ear. I gasped; the two had been inseparable forever. "I love you more." I slowly lifted my head from England's shoulder and looked him in the eye.

"I love you too." I kissed England, and in that moment time froze. Sparks flashed before my eyes and, no matter how cliché it sounds, I knew he was the one. I drew my head back and smiled at him, happy tears in my eyes. He hugged me and rocked me slowly. It was the best moment of my life. That is, until my dad had to speak up.

"You do realize you'll need my approval, correct?"

* * *

**A/N: My dear beloved readers,**

**I hope you enjoyed this piece of well-scented poop. It's very weird, and very idontevenknow, and yeah. Just please review. *huggles Sweden***

**Rose ._.**


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